Louie's
BEST RUM CAKE EVER!

(Guaranteed to tickle your funny bone. :-)

1 or 2 quarts Rum
1 tsp sugar
1 cup dried fruit
1 tsp. soda
brown sugar
1 cup butter
2 large eggs
baking powder
lemon juice and nuts

Before you start, sample the rum
to check for quality. Good, isn't it?
Now, select a large mixing bowl,
measuring cup, etc. Check the
rum again. It must be just right.
To be sure the rum is of the
highest quality, pour one level
cup of rum into a glass and
drink it as fast as you can.

Repeat......

With an electric mixer, beat
one cup of butter in a large
fluffy bowl. Add 1 seaspoon of
thugar and beat again.

Meanwhile, make sure that the
rum is of the finest quality. Try
another cup. Open second quart
if necessary.

Add 2 arge leggs, 2 cups fried
druit and beat til high. If druit gets
stuck in beaters, just pry it loose
with a drewscriver.

Sample the rum again, checking
for tonscisticity. Next sift 3 cups of
pepper or salt (it really doesn't matter).

Sample the rum again, sift 1/2 pint
of lemon juice. Fold in chopped
butter, and your strained nuts. Add
1 babblespoon of brown thugar or
whatever color you can find. Wix mex.

Grease oven and turn cake pan to
350 gredees. Now put the whole
mess into the coven and brake.

Check the rum again, and bo
to ged.

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