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Home > Show Information > Songs Lyrics

    SONGS LYRICS


According to Seth MacFarlane's sister, Rachel, Seth listened to a variety of music as a child. That may have influenced many of the musical numbers that we on Family Guy. Sometime they entertaining and sometimes they can even be moving.


  Ordered By:
Chris Griffin Song
He rakes and trims the grass
He loves to mow and weed
I cook like Betty Crocker
And I look like Donna Reed
There's plastic on the furntiture
to keep it neat and clean
in the Pine-sol scented air
somewhere that's green
Between our frozen dinners
and our bedtime nine fifteen
We snuggle watching Lucy
on our big enormous 12-inch screen
I'm his December bride
Chris Griffen he knows best
The kids play Howdy Doody
as the sun sets in the west
A picture out of Better Homes
and Gardens magazine
Someday I know
We too will go
Somewhere that's green

Thanks to Jacobpants!


  Item id #26658   
FCC Song
Oh yeah, I know all about the FCC

They will clean up all your talking in a manner such as this
They will make you take a tinkle when you want to take a piss
ANd they'll make you call felatio a trouser friendly kiss
Is the plain situation
There's no negotiation
with the fellows at the freakin FCC

They're as stuffy as the stuffiest of speical interest groups
Make a joke about your bowels and they order in the troops
Any baby with a brain could tell them everybody poops
Take a tip take a lesson
you'll never win by messin'
with the fellows at the freakin FCC

And if you find yourself with some young sexy thing
you're gonna have to do her with your ding-a-ling
Cause you can't say penis

SO they sent this little warning
they're prepared to do their worst
And they stuck it in your mailbox
hoping you can be coerced
I can think of quite another place
they should have stuck it first

They may just be nerotic
Or possibly psychotic
they're the fellows at the freakin' FCC

Thanks to Jacobpants!



  Item id #26659   
I've Grown Accustom To Her Face
Stewie Griffin


Damn, Damn, Damn
I've grown accustom to her face!

She almost makes the day begin
I've grown accustom to the tune she whistles night and noon

Her smiles
Her frowns
Her ups
Her downs
Are second nature to me now

Like breathing out and breathing in
I'm very grateful she's a woman

And so easy to forget
Rather like a habit one can always break.

And yet, I've grown accustom to her looks
Accustom to her voice
Accustom to her face


  Item id #11003   
Main Theme Song
Lois Griffin

It seems today
That all you see
Is violence in movies and sex on TV.

Peter Griffin

But where are those good old fashion values?

All

On which we used to rely!
Lucky there's a Family Guy
Lucky theres' a man who
Positively can do
All the thing that make us

Stewie Griffin
Laugh and cry!

All
He's
Our
Family
Guy!


  Item id #10996   
Mintos
Doobey Doo Wah, Doo Wah

When life is getting to you
Put some fresh in your life
Let Mintos freshen up your lif!
Life is just a breeze, when you stay fresh and cool
Because Mintos puts the fresh in life

Taste that freshness
Just can't beat it
Mintos freshness
Let Mintos freshen up your life

Announcer: Mintos! The freshmaker!

Meg Griffin: These commercials are stupid.

Lois Griffin: They certainly don't make went to have a Minto.

Brian Griffin: Totally ineffective.

Peter Griffin: Must - kill - Lincoln.



Episode
  Item id #11000   
Road to Rhode Island
Stewie/Brian

We're off on the road to Rhode Island
We're having the time of our lives

Stewie

Take it dog

Brian

We're quite a pair of partners
Just Like Thelma and Louise
Except you're not six feet tall

Stewie

Yes, and your breasts don't reach your knees

Brian

Give it time

Stewie/Brian

We're off on the road to Rhode Island
We're certainly going in style

Brian

I'm with an intellectual
who craps inside his pants.

Stewie

How dare you
At least I don't leave urine stains on all the household plants

Brian

Oh pee jokes

Stewie/Brian

We've traveled a bit and we've found
Like a masochist in Newport we're Rhode Island bound

Brian

Crazy travel conditions, huh?

Stewie

First class or no class

Brian

Whoa, careful with that joke, it's an antique

Stewie/Brian

We're off on the road to Rhode Island
We're not gonna to stop till we're there

Brian

Maybe for a beer.

Brian

Whatever dangers we may face, we'll never fear or cry

Stewie

That's right, until we're syndicated
Fox will never let us die
Please!

Stewie/Brian

We're off on the road to Rhode Island,
The home of that old campus swing

Brian

We may pick up some college girls
And picnic on the grass.

Stewie

We'd tell you more, but we will have the censors on our ass

Brian

Yikes!

Stewie/Brian

We certainly do get around.
Like a bunch of renegade pilgrims
Who are thrown out of Plymouth colony.

We're Rhode Island bound
Or like a group of college freshmen
who were rejected by Harvard and forced to go to Brown!

We're Rhode Island Bound!

Episode
  Item id #11013   
The King and I
All

A.N.N.A. rules!

Peter

Cause I kick all the bad guys in their jewels

All

A.N.N.A. won!

Peter

Thanks to my gamma ray atomic gun

All

Dance and shout
He's the world's greatest ninja
There's no doubt.

Peter

Though they tried to defeat me
They can all just freakin' eat me

Brian
Cause he blew all of us away

All/Peter

In the planet of Siam
There's no one as tough as I am
Just as surely as Paul Lynde was gay.

Episode
  Item id #11010   
The Way to Go Home
Stewie Griffin

Show me the way to go home! Everybody!
I'm tired and I want to go go to bed - just the women!


  Item id #11002   
Vagina Junction
Girls


Vagina junction, what's your function?

Chef

Taking in sperm and spitting out babies


  Item id #11004   
Vasectomy Song
A vasectomy's a medical procedure
One that makes you half a man (you're half a man)
Remember when you twisted up your garden hose
Well essentially that is the plan (that is the plan)

Peter: Well I'm starting to get the picture, but how's it done?
You make a small incision in the scrotal skin
Isolate the vas and then (isolate the vas and then)
You roll it in position with a towel clamp
Then you snip the fiberous tissue (then you snip the fiberous tissue)
You'll never have to wear a condom
When you do it with your wife

Or anyone else you do it with we promise not to tell
like that new hot chick at work
you know the one who always as high beams under her
ribbed white cotton t-shirt
but then stares daggers at you for checking her out
And it's like why do you wear that if you don't
want attention but you know you shouldn't
think that way because of the sexual harrassement
meeting you all had to go to
Seriously how lame was that
And you couldn't help but notice that the female lawyer
running the seminar had a huge rack
like ridiculously huge for someone who has to talk
about that kind of stuff
Well I guess that's the definition of the word "Irony"

Goodbye

Say goodbye to manhood (Goodbye)
Say goodbye to babies
Say goodbye to kids like Meg (Vacuum out your sack)

Thanks to Jacobpants
Related Forum Threads
Vasectomy Song (3 comments)

  Item id #26657   
We Live to Kiss Your Ass
All

We only live to kiss your ass!

Butler

Kiss it? Oh, we'll even wipe it for you!

All

From here on in it iss easy street!

Peter Griffin

Any bars on that street?

Butler

24 happy hours a day

Peter

Oh boy!

All

We'll stop Jahovas at the gate!

Security Guard

Can i see that pamphlet sir?

Jahova

Ouch!

Peter

My god, this house is freakin' sweet!

Chef

I make brunch

Other Chef

Clyde cooks lunch!

Chef and Other Chef

Each and everyday!

Blake

Chocolate Cake, a la Blake!

Peter

100 bucks
Blake is gay!

All

We'll do the best we can with Meg!

Meg

Are you saying I'm ugly?

Maid

It doesn't matter dear, you're rich now!

All

We'll do your nails and rub your feet!

Lois

Oh, thats not nessac--
Oh my!

All

We'll do your homework every night!

Chris Griffin

It's really hard!

Butler

That's why we got that Steven Hawkings guy

Peter

My god, this house is freakin' sweet!

--

Used to pass lots of gas
Lois ran away
Now we've got 30 rooms
Hello beans
Goodbye spray!

All

We'd take a bullet just for you!

Stewie Griffin

Oh what a coincidence, I've got one!

Lois

Stewie!

All

Prepare to suck that golden tea
Now that you're stinking rich,
We'll gladly be your bitch!

Peter

My god, This house is...

All

Freakin' sweet!
Welcome!


  Item id #11015   
You Make Me Feel So Young
Stewie Griffin


You make me feel so young
You make me feel like spring has sprung

And every time I see you grin
Oh, I'm such a happy individual

The moment that you speak
I want to go and play hide and seek
I want to go and bounce the moon
Just like a big toy balloon

Darling, you and I
Are just like a couple of tots
Running across a meadow
Picking up lots of forget-me-nots

You make me feel so young
You make me feel there are songs to be sung
Bells to be rung
And a wonderful fling to be flung

And even when I'm old and gray
I'm going to feel the way I do today

Because you make me feel so young



  Item id #11011   
Suggest Content for this page   Item id #10995




  


 

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