Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.

Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "Code 3'in Housewares!", and watch what happens.

Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

Move a 'CAUTION WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

Set up a camping tent in the sporting goods department, and invite shoppers in if they'll bring pillows from the Bedding department.

When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.

Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

Hide in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yell "PICK ME!, PICK ME!"

When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assumes the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"