NEW ENGLAND

I have to say that this trip won't go down as one of our favorites - quite the opposite. We've taken two previous cruises with this company and enjoyed them very much but this one just didn't add up. If you like seeing how the ultra-rich live, this is for you but seeing their megamillion dollar mansions, yachts, planes, etc. just isn't our cup of tea. My favorite saying is "Good comes from bad" and that applies to this situation. We arrived at the boat which was docked in Warren, Rhode Island. It was too early to board so Beverly and I decided to take a walk. We came upon three videographers taping the boat. Being very shy and retiring, we went up to them to see what was going on. The had been hired the the Travel Channel to show alternative travel choices other than coach tours and/or cruises that hold 17 zillion people. In my normal introverted manner I told them they should feature me prominently because my personality matches my hair. Little did we know that's exactly what they did. They selected five passengers, Dave, my sister Beverly, myself and two people we were traveling with that we met two year's ago on the Maine cruise and subsequently went with them on our Lake Michigan cruise. They referred to us as "The Talent" which didn't go to our heads at all . . . nooooo, not us. We eschewed wearing big hats and sunglasses but did allow "our people" to handle requests for autographs, photos and the paparazzi for us. We just couldn't be bothered with such trivial matters.

Our first destination was Nantucket and on the way we passed the obligatory mansions, yachts, etc. The one interesting point was seeing the Eisenhower and Kennedy compounds right next to each other. Jackie and John went with the video team for a bicycle trip - we declined because we didn't think the sight of blood was something the travel channel would like to feature. Beverly and I stayed on the island because we were going on a cruise with the videographers to see a seal colony. Fun. Since Nantucket offered nothing but tourists and shops geared to the wealthy, we weren't thrilled to death. Decided to have lunch (all the restaurants were expensive), send Dave back to the boat (this was the only port where we weren't docked and had to take a tender) and we'd head to the dock where we picked up the boat to the seals. On our way to the pier we saw the bicyclists so went to see how it was. The producer then told us our trip had been cancelled because of the winds. Holy disappointment. We took the next shuttle back to the boat.

Next day was Martha's Vineyard and we were all excited because the five of us were going to take two tall ships, The Alabama and The Shenandoah who were going to race each other with three of us on one ship and two on the other. When we got to the pier we were told there wouldn't be a race because of calm winds so we all went on the Alabama which was probably more fun anyway. Beverly and I micked (or however it's spelled) for the trip and it was awful. Edson isn't hard on the eyes and we insisted that he put the mics on for us. It entailed him having to go under our shirts to pull the wire then tape it at the top. It was terrible and worser still was mine was acting up so he had to do it again. Oh the sacrifices we make for our public. The best part was the hoisting of the sails. We heaved, we pulled, we grunted, we tugged, we complained (well, I did) . . . they are really heavy. We enjoyed the cruise but since we didn't race the Shenandoah, it could have been an hour shorter. As far as Martha's Vineyard is concerned, it was more of the same. We were looking forward to walking along the shore on beautiful paths, not looking at expensive shops.

Next stop, New Bedford where Herman Melville worked as a whaler. It's known as the town that lit the world because of the sperm whale oil that was what everyone used in their lanterns. Also, sperm whale candles were highly sought after because they were pure white, odorless, smokeless and burned for much longer than tallow ones. Only the wealthy could afford them. We decided to take the tour offered by the cruise line because it was a walking tour and lasted over three hours. Little did we know most of the time we'd be standing around listening to the history of the city and visiting their whaling museum which was nice but can't compare to the one in Montreal. It was here we had to bid adieu to Adam, Edson and Heather. No more cameras in our faces, no more hunky guys to ogle, no more being special. We really missed them.

The next stop was Block Island where we also decided to take a tour even though it was on a bus and lasted only an hour. As it turned out, the weather was awful so it wasn't a bad thing. However, we saw miles of beautiful hiking trails which would have been the exact thing we would have enjoyed exploring. The island is very small and we would have loved to see it on foot. Our favorite stop and we had to leave right after the tour ended. Poop. Why does life have to be so unfair (another favorite saying).

We set sail for Newport and the jazz festival was going on. We didn't opt to take a tour so later in the day Dave and I decided to have a walk since he'd been on the boat so much due to his 'lower tract distress' as he calls it. Well, what did we discover? A nice two mile trail that circled the bay . . . perfect. We set off, even though I wasn't wearing the proper shoes, had no water or hat or anything. Sadly, because it took a turn through a parking lot, we lost the trail and turned back. Life=hard. Sigh.

Landed back in Warren, RI and made our way home - one of the longest and most miserable travel days we've ever had.

Be sure to watch for us on the Travel Channel September 20, 2011 9:00 p.m Eastern, 8:00 Central - "Sassy, Sexy Seniors. BE THERE!!!!!!

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Email: moogie16@msn.com