| What do you say to a ghost with three heads?
A: Hello, hello, hello.
What is a ghosts favorite ride at the midway?
A: The roller-ghoster.
Why does the Mummy keep his Band-aids in the refrigerator?
A: He wants to use them later for cold cuts.
What is a baby ghost's favorite game?
A: Peek-a-boo!
What is the Mummy's favorite type of music?
A: Wrap.
What is a vampire's favorite holiday?
A: Fangsgiving.
What kind of street does a zombie like best?
A: A dead end.
Who does a goblin go out with on Halloween?
A. His ghoul friend.
Who are some of the werewolves cousins?
A: The whatwolves and the whenwolves.
What type of dog do vampires like the best?
A: A Bloodhound.
Where do little ghosts learn to yell "BOO!"?
A: In noisery school.
How can you tell when windows are scared?
A: They get shudders.
Why couldn't the skeleton go skydiving?
A. He didn't have the guts.
What did Dracula say when he kissed his vampire girlfriend?
A: Ouch.
How do monsters tell their future?
A: They read their horrorscopes.
Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
A: No, they eat the fingers separately.
What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
A: Frostbite.
What does a ghost get when he falls and scrapes his knee?
A: A boo boo.
What's a vampire's favorite fast food?
A: A guy with very high blood pressure.
Why do witches use brooms to fly?
A: Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy.
What did one ghost say to the other ghost?
A: "Do you believe in people?"
What do you call someone who puts poison in a person's corn flakes?
A: A cereal killer.
What is a ghost's favorite mode of transportation?
A: A scare-plane.
Why did the vampire's lunch give him heartburn?
A: It was a stake sandwich.
What do birds give out on Halloween night?
A: Tweets.
Why do vampires need mouthwash?
A: They have bat breath.
Why did the ghoul go to the cafeteria for dinner?
A. He heard children were half price.
Why do cemeteries have fences around them?
A. Because people are dying to get in.
Why did the vampire subscribe to the Wall Street Journal?
A: He heard it had great circulation.
How do witches keep their hair in place while flying?
A: With scare spray.
Did you hear what happened to the cannibal boy?
A: He was ate before he was seven.
Did you hear about the cannibal who was expelled from school?
A: He was buttering up his teacher.
Why do vampires drink blood?
A. Because coffee keeps them up all day.
What do you call the ghost of a door-to-door salesman?
A. A dead ringer.
Why don't mummies take vacations?
A. They're afraid they'll relax and unwind.
What does a cannibal get when he comes home late for dinner?
A: The cold shoulder.
What do ghosts add to their morning cereal?
A: Booberries.
Why did the game warden arrest the ghost?
A. He didn't have a haunting license.
How does a girl vampire flirt?
A. She bats her eyes.
|
| What did the mommy ghost say to the baby ghost?
A. Don't spook until you're spookin', too.
What's it like to be kissed by a vampire?
A. It's a pain in the neck.
What kind of pants do ghosts wear?
A: Boojeans.
What does the papa ghost say to his family when driving?
A: Fasten your sheet belts.
Why did the vampire give his girlfriend a blood test?
A. To see if she was his type.
Whom did the ghoul invite to his party?
A. Anyone he could dig up.
Why do ghosts go to bars?
A. For the boos.
What is a skeleton's favorite musical instrument?
A: A trom-bone.
Why don't ghosts have bands?
A. They get booooooooooed.
How did the ghost say goodbye to the vampire?
A. So long sucker.
What is a vampire's favorite sport?
A: Casketball.
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?
A: A fur coat that fangs around your neck.
Why did the vampire go to the orthodontist?
A: To improve his bite.
What does a goblin shop for?
A: Gross-eries.
How do ghosts begin letters?
A. "Tomb it may concern..."
Why did the ghost cross the road?
A. To get to "The Other Side".
What haunts your house and clucks?
A. A poultry-geist.
Where did the goblin throw the football?
A: Over the ghoul line.
Why do mummies have trouble keeping friends?
A: They're too wrapped up in themselves.
What do you get when you cross a werewolf with a drip-dry suit?
A: A wash-and-werewolf.
What is a vampire's favorite mode of transportation?
A: A blood vessel.
What does a child monster call his parents?
A: Mummy and Deady.
What is Frankenstein's favorite waterway?
A: The Eerie Canal.
Why couldn't Dracula's wife get to sleep?
A. Because of his coffin.
What happened to the guy who couldn't keep up payments to his exorcist?
A. He was repossessed.
What do you call serious rocks?
A: Gravestones.
What kind of makeup do ghosts wear?
A. Mas-scare-a.
What do they teach in witching school?
A. Spelling.
Why did the skeleton cross the road?
A. To get to the body shop.
What do you call a stupid skeleton?
A. Bonehead.
How does a skeleton open doors?
A. With a skeleton key.
Why didn't the ghost enjoy the party?
A. He had no body to dance with.
How does a werewolf like his eggs for breakfast?
A: Terror-fried.
Why was the Mummy so tense?
A: He was all wound up.
What is a ghoul's favorite flavor?
A: Lemon-slime.
Where do ghosts go swimming?
A: The Dead Sea.
What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?
A: Hope it's Halloween.
What do you get when you goose a ghost?
A: A handful of sheet.
What did the three vampires order at the bar?
A: Two bloods and a blood lite.
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