People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do. . - Michelle Ventor Wouldn't it be wonderful if our first love could be our one and only love, forever and ever, amen? Well, surely you know by now that life is not like that. People come and go in our lives, taking a little piece of our heart with them. As difficult or as painful as it may be, that is exactly what they should do. We have more than enough love to share and spare, and we should give it freely. When we love for a reason it feels good to give love, because we get what we give. When we have a seasonal love, it is a whirlwind ove, preparing us for something better. When those very special people come into our lives, we can and do love them forever. Love is not what causes our emotional damage, it is the attempt to throw people out of our hearts and minds. When we love reasonably for the season we are in, we will undoubtedly enjoy a lifetime of loving. A reason . . . When someone is in your life for a reason, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on. Next! A season . . . When people come into your life for a season, it is because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They may teach you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But only for a season. In the same way that leaves must fall from the trees, or the moon becomes full and then disappears, your seasonal relationship will end at the divinely appointed time. When that time comes, there is nothing you can say or do to make it work. There is no one you can blame. You cannot fix it. You cannot explain it. The harder you clutch, the worse it will feel. When the end of a season comes in a loving relationship, the only thing for you to do is let go. A lifetime . . . Lifetime relationships are a bit more difficult to let go of. When a parent, child, or spouse is involved, the wounds are very deep. When the end of a relationship comes, you may feel that you would be better off dead. The pain seems to grow, the memories linger, a part of your life is dying. You relive every painful moment in an attempt to understand. Your job is not to understand. Your job is to accept. Lifetime relationships teach you lifetime lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. They are the most difficult lessons to learn, the most painful to accept; yet these are the things you need in order to grow. When you are facing a separation of the end of a lifetime relationship, the key is to find the lesson; love the person anyway; move on and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships. |
Whether for a reason, a season or a lifetime, thank YOU for playing a part in my life.
page inspired by
John "Hawk" Manzo SBHS '67 & Chereé "Rainbow" Philip HPRHS '97
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From the book "Acts of Faith: Daily Meditations for People of Color" by Iyanla Vanzant, Copyright 1993