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"Bring
Them Up"
From:
Lost River church Bulletin, Bowling Green, KY
7/10/02,
by Lawrence Kelley
As
a parent of three, child rearing is a matter of great importance
to me. The Bible directs parents to "Bring them up in
the training and admonition of the Lord" (Eph 6:4). By
observing current conditions one can see the need for parents
to be reminded of this vital task. Years of advice irom experts
telling us that traditional two-parent families are not that
important and that children do equally well in alternative
environments is bearing its bitter fruit. About 50 percent
of today's children are not living with both their biological
parents. The percentage of small children who spend the majority
of their waking hours in day care continues to increase. Even
in traditional two-parent homes the influence of mother and
father over the children is constantly shrinking. How should
godly parents, who want to live in obedience to God's will
in regard to the rearing of their children respond to all
of this?
First, we
need to stop listening to self-proclaimed experts whose methods
are unproven and more often unbiblical.
One of the
problems with following the latest fads in child rearing is
that you don't see the error of the method until you harvest
the end product--a ruined young adult. We can raise our child
any way we like, but we can only do it once. Before we subscribe
to Dr. New Method's approach to parenting, we need to stop
and think about what is at stake if his/her approach should
prove to be fatally flawed. Second,
we need to become thoroughly acquainted with what God's word
says to parents. It says a lot. The best book on parenting
ever written is Proverbs. No parent should go more than a
month without spending time in this book of practical wisdom.
One lesson a parent will discover as he studies the scriptures
from a parent's perspective is that we are to be engaged in
an ongoing conversation with children about things that matter.
"And these words which I command you today shall be in
your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children,
and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you
walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.
You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall
be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on
the doorposts of your house and on your gates" (Deut.
6:6-9). We must engage them in teaching that is formal and
informal, scheduled and extemporaneous, serious and light.
Third, we
must find a place to draw a line limiting the world's encroachment
on our parental responsibilities. As a parent, I have responsibilities
that cannot be delegated and some that can. All of us will
see the line a little differently between what I can delegate
and what I cannot, but my fear is that some godly parents
do not see it at all. For example, Bible classses in the local
church are a great idea, but they must not become a substitute
for a parent's responsibility to bring them up in the nurture
and admonition of the Lord. Bringing a child to class is only
a part of my responsibility to teach my children about God.
I am also responsible for my chdren's physical and mental
development (1Tim.5:8). Over the past 50 years the length
of school days has increased, the number of school days has
grown, the curriculum has expanded, the extra-curricular activities
have exploded.
In short,
the school and related activities are becoming the dominant
influence over our chdren's mental and social development.
Whether that influence is for good or bad is not my concern
here. At some point, as a parent, I have to know when to say
enough is enough and maintain control of my child's upbringing.
If we allow it, the school or athletics or other activities
will squeeze out the measure of influence God intends for
me to have in the lives of my children.
It is hard
to keep life in balance, especially with our children. But,
by becoming a parent we assume the tremendous responsibility
of shaping sons and daughters in a way that will bring glory
and honor to their Creator. We will make enough mistakes when
we do the best we can. We cannot afford to do the job without
prayerful and thoughtful diligence. Looking to the word of
God for advice, taking an active role in every aspect of my
child's growth (while limiting the influence of external factors
on their lives) will go a long way toward bringing them up
in a way that blesses them and honors God.
(Slightly Edited)
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