Oh my, the lovebugs were thick and really horrible. They were splatting all over the car and the windshield. They even made getting in and out of the car difficult. When you got out they were all over you... and to get back in the car you had to try to shoo them away so you can open the door and not have then follow you inside. Some nice person down here said that they were called "lovebugs" because they "love" to "bug" you. Don't you believe it! They were mating so madly in midair and everywhere else... one facing forward and one facing backward... I have no comment on that... that they had no idea where they were and were totally blind with passion. SPLAT!

While on the road, we stoped at Super Walmarts usually. We purchased a new toaster oven at our first shopping session. When we stopped for the night in Alexandria we found it was the first night we had to use the new oven. Until then, we had been finding rooms with microwaves. So we fired up the shiny, new toaster oven. Uh-oh! It is new. It has never been turned on. It has protectant sprayed on the heat elements. It stinks! It smokes like hell! Gypsy is always afraid of setting off smoke detectors in hotel rooms. I guess that comes from my first big scare when Cuz almost set our flat on fire with her curling iron our first morning in London. Well... you know... once almost burned.. forever almost wary.

Our Voodoo travel doll is doing her job. We actually have a room with a balcony. How often does that happen? So Cuz sat on a chair and held the smoking oven up to the door while Gypsy fanned at the smoke. Dinner was a little late that night.

We didn't have far to go in the morning to see Kent Hall Plantation. Mmmmmm. It was lovely. It was built one story off the ground to allow for flooding. This was one of the few homes where the lower floor had not been enclosed over time. It was such a lovely, shady, cool spot there under the house... the perfect spot for so many activities. It reminded us of Thailand homes. Our guide here was delightful and showed us all the out buildings and filled our heads wih information. She also told us about the resident ghost in the house who doesn't approve of the guide's decorating. Frankly, she we think she should have paid more mind to the ghost as she had some good ideas. And it WAS her house, after all.

Cuz: Here we received certificates making us Honorary Cajuns - WHOOWEE....

Then on to Derry to visit Melrose Plantation. Yes, no doubt, another beautiful place. Marie Therese Coincoin was a slave who had 4 black children and 10 Franco-African children by her owner. He eventually freed her and provided her with some land, and she also recieved additional land grants from the government. She started the plantation, prospered, and eventually bought the freedom of all her children.

That would be an interesting story in itself, but Marie owned 17 slaves who worked her plantation. She had an out building with no doors on the bottom floor... only access from a trap door in the ceiling from the second story. She locked her slaves in this escape-proof room at night so they wouldn't run away. This to me, was a surprising little bit of history and it really makes you think about things.

In the same area was Magnolia Plantation, so we decided to drop in there for a visit. Poor Magnolia. It was a beautiful house and filled with promise, but so shabby, and musty, and overgrown. It was also a B&B, but I think if I had booked a room here sight unseen... I would have sat down and cried. I almost felt like sitting down and crying anyway.

We stopped for gas before we started out the next morning from Natchitoches (Nack'-a-tish) Gas was $1.38 a gallon. Gee, we don't have gas like that at home. There must have been a terrible invasion of grasshoppers overnight because the gas station was full of them. And when Gypsy went to wash the lovebugs off the windshield.. she had to dip through about three inches of dead grasshoppers in the window washer tray. That's disgusting. We don't have grasshoppers like this at home! Just after Cuz gassed up, we witnessed a little accident in the gas station where one car backed into another car that was cruising by. Oh-oh... cell phones! They are calling the cops.... we're out of here!

We traveled north through Louisiana to the town of Monroe, where we planned to see the Biedenharn Home. It was a home constructed in 1914 by Joseph Biedenharn, the first bottler of Coca-Cola. I guess you could call this The House That Coke Built. It really is a lovely place and we were eager to see the inside.

The home and gardens are operated by the Emmy Lou Bierdenharn Foundation, evidentally the volunteer activity of choice for the cream of Monroe society. As soon as we meet our guide, Gyspsy knew things would not go well. This woman... and I wish I rembembered her name because it would give me great pleasure to put it on the internet.... looked at us like we were something she scraped off her shoe; and she talked to us like we were two-year olds.

There was a big "fountain room" built onto the front of the house in 1960, we were told. It was a lovely garden room until they turned on the fountain... then it was like someone brought Niagara Falls indoors. It was truly amazing.... and more than a little frightening. After the fountain was turned off, I couldn't help but wonder what idiot added this fountain, a family idiot... or a foundation idiot.

So I asked Ms Snotty, "Was this room built while the family lived here?" (I felt it was more tactful than, "Who the hell thought of THAT?")

"I TOLD you it was built in 1960."

"But was the family living here then?"

"There are still members of the family, but they live elsewhere now."

"How long did the family live here?"

"Emmy Lou was the last person to live here."

"How long did the Emmy Lou live here?"

"Her entire life."

"How long was that?"

"Until she died."

"When did she die?"

"1981"

"So the answer is, 'Yes'".

Ms Snotty takes us inside and tells us where to stand and which way to face and what to look at... and tells us over... and over... and over... and over... "Don't touch anything!" Of course, you know that this caused Gypsy to drag her dirty little baby-hand down the gold foil wallpaper in the stair well.

Ms Snotty also told us that there was a 5-cent Coke machine in the garden and gave us VERY detailed instructions on how to operate the machine. She actually implied that we might break the machine... and told us how much it would cost the foundation to fix it.

Guess what else Coke built? A bible museum to house Emmy Lou's collection of a zillion bibles. Let's call them The Bibles That Coke Bought. She explained a lot of the bible to us, too. Gee... thanks, lady.

Cuz: We knew THIS would be TRULY interesting when she said to the assembled white trash - "Y'all have heard of the Bible, haven't you?" About this time I wanted to snap her scrawnly little southern neck with my bare hands, so slipped them inside my pockets instead. All of the vibes off Gypsy were starting to bother the normally unruffable Cuz.

This tour guide is driving the Gypsy and the Cuz both NUTS! We bolted from the house after the tour....pausing only long enough to break the Coke machine in the garden.... "Beam us up, Snotty... this place sucks!"