If you’ve left your abusive partner or are still in the planning stage it is important that you discuss your situation with your supervisor. More than likely you need to work. You could lose your job if your abusive partner brings domestic violence into your workplace. Having a plan in place with your supervisor can help you keep your job and stop your partner from harassing you, your co-worker or supervisor.

When you meet with your supervisor include the human resources/relations manager if possible. Tell them about the circumstances regarding the situation you are in. Be sure to discuss all options available to you. Ask about scheduling options. Ask about any safety precautions that are in place and how you can use them. Find out if there is employee or family assistance benefits available. Apply for them if you need to.

Bring a recent picture of your abusive partner to work. Show it to everyone so they will be able to recognize him and put your safety plan in motion. Always remember that your safety comes first because you are entitled to live without fear and violence.

IF YOU ARE THE CO-WORKER OF SOMEONE IN AN ABUSIVE OR
VIOLENT RELATIONSHIP:

If you think a co-worker is experiencing domestic violence do not confront them about it. If you do you may jeopardize their safety or well being. It is best to let them bring it up. It is important to them that they choose someone the feel they can trust to talk to. If they don't bring it up and you are genuinely concerned about their well-being, be very careful if you approach them about their situation and make sure you speak to them in a private area. If they talk to you about their situation let them know you are concerned, willing to listen and be supportive if need be. Do not tell anyone else about their situation unless they have given you permission to do so. If you suspect you are the only one they’ve discussed their situation with encourage them to talk to their supervisor and the human resources/relations manager for assistance. If you witness an incident at work contact the supervisor and law officials immediately. Document the incident.

IF YOU ARE THE SUPERVISOR OF AN EMPLOYEE IN AN ABUSIVE
OR VIOLENT RELATIONSHIP:

Always be watching for any unusual behavior changes. Are any of your employees unusually late for work or absent? Have you noticed any emotional distress or bruising? If so, talk to the employee about the situation and offer your assistance if you discover that they are in an abusive or violent relationship. Find out if there are any resources available to the employee either within the company or through community programs. Be willing to assist the employee with scheduling and safety measures. Assure the employee that everything being discussed is confidential and let them make the decision who, if anyone, the information can be shared with. Always be sensitive to the seriousness of the situation your employee experiencing. Assist the employee in documenting any incidences involving their abusive partner in the workplace. Ask the employee for a recent picture of their partner. Get permission to show it to their co-worker so they can recognize the abuser and put a safety plan in motion. Encourage all of your employees to support programs against domestic violence through volunteering their time or by providing financial support. Be sure you also support those programs by volunteering your time and providing financial support.

GOOD GUIDELINES TO FOLLOW ARE: Ask how many divorce and/or custody cases your attorney or law firm has handled. Ask how many of the cases were contested or went to trial. Ask for the name of the judge who will be hearing your case. Ask what kind of decisions the judge hearing your case usually makes in divorce and/or custody cases. Ask whether or not so-called expert witnesses will be used. Ask if your attorney will be working on your case alone or will someone else be involved. You should insist that you be provided with either the original paperwork back or copies of all paperwork involved in your case. Also insist that you be provided with copies of the court documents.

QUESTIONS TO ASK ABOUT ATTORNEY FEES AND COSTS: What are your fees for handling divorce and/or custody cases? What kind of work do the fees cover and what don’t they cover? Does this fee cover the entire case or is this an hourly fee? What, if any, additional fees will be charged for court appearances? Do you charge less for people who don’t have much money? If I assist you will it lower my fees? Do you make payment arrangements? Do you have a retainer fee that I have to pay and if so, how much is it? If my case gets dropped or doesn’t take a lot of time will you refund all or part of the retainer fee that I paid? If there are other expenses I may have to pay what are they and what do you estimate the to be? Do you have a charge for speaking to your secretary or receptionist? Are you willing to put our agreement about fees and what work they cover in writing?

QUESTIONS TO ASK ABOUT DOMESTIC VIOLENCE CASES: How experienced are you with cases involving domestic violence? Did you represent the victim, the children or the abuser? As a rule, do you believe women who tell you they are victims of abuse or violence? Have you ever gone to court to obtain a protective order for women against their abusers? Is the judge hearing my case sympathetic towards women who have been abused? What are the laws of this state regarding custody in cases involving domestic violence? What is your opinion of joint custody in domestic violence cases? What are the usual arrangements for custody and visitation in cases involving domestic violence? If expert witnesses are called in, do they understand the importance of protecting women and children from domestic violence? Do you usually believe a mother when she tells you that her child/children have been physically or sexually abused by their father? Will someone be brought in to represent my child/children? If so, what is that person’s opinion of fathers who physically or sexually abuse their child/children? If a child protection agency has been called in how will that affect my case? What steps do you recommend that I take to protect my child/children if this case is made public? Will you stand up for my case even if it makes the judge angry?