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Hurricane Katrina Rescued Dogs



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This so True....

My Mom used to defrost hamburger on the counter AND I used to eat it raw sometimes too, our school sandwiches were wrapped in wax paper in a brown paper bag not in ice pack coolers, but I can't remember getting ecoli. My Mom used to cut chicken, chop eggs and spread mayo on the same cutting board with the same knife and no bleach, but we didn't seem to get food poisoning.
Almost all of us would have rather gone swimming in the lake instead of a pristine pool (talk about boring), no beach closures then. The term cell phone would have conjured up a phone in a jail cell, and a pager was the school PA system.
We all took gym, not PE... and risked permanent injury with a pair of high top Ked's (only worn in gym) instead of having cross-training athletic shoes with air cushion soles and built in light reflectors. I can't recall any injuries but they must have happened because they tell us how much safer we are now.
Flunking gym was not an option... even for stupid kids! I guess PE must be much harder than gym. Every year, someone taught the whole school a lesson [and provided comic relief] by running in the halls with leather soles on linoleum tile and hitting the wet spot. How much better off would we be today if we only knew we could have sued the school system.
Speaking of school, we all said prayers and sang the national anthem and staying in detention after school caught all sorts of negative attention. We must have had horribly damaged psyches. I can't understand it. Schools didn't offer 14 year olds an abortion or condoms (we wouldn't have known what either was anyway) What an archaic health system we had then. remember school nurses? Ours wore a hat and everything.
I thought that I was supposed to accomplish something before I was allowed to be proud of myself. I just can't recall how bored we were without computers, Play Station, Nintendo, X-box or 270 digital TV cable stations.
I must be repressing that memory as I try to rationalize through the denial of the dangers that could have befallen us as we trekked off each day about a mile down the road to some guy's vacant lot, built forts out of branches and pieces of plywood, made trails, and fought over who got to be the Lone Ranger. What was that property owner thinking, letting us play on that lot? He should have been locked up for not putting up a fence around the property, complete with a self-closing gate and an infrared intruder alarm.
Oh yeah... and where was the Benadryl and sterilization kit when I got that bee sting? I could have been killed! We played king of the hill on piles of gravel left on vacant construction sites and when we got hurt, Mom pulled out the 48 cent bottle of Mercurochrome (kids liked it better because it didn't sting like iodine did) and then we got our butt spanked. Now it's a trip to the emergency room followed by a 10-day dose of a $49 bottle of antibiotics and then Mom calls the attorney to sue the contractor for leaving a horribly vicious pile of gravel where it was such a threat.
We didn't act up at the neighbor's house either because if we did, we got our butt spanked (physical abuse) there too and then we got butt spanked again when we got home.
Mom invited the door to door salesman inside for coffee, kids choked down the dust from the gravel driveway while playing with Tonka trucks. Remember why Tonka trucks were made tough ... it wasn't so that they could take the rough Berber in the family room), and Dad drove a car with leaded gas.
Our music had to be left inside when we went out to play and I am sure that I nearly exhausted my imagination a couple of times when we went on two week vacations. I should probably sue the folks now for the danger they put us in when we all slept in campgrounds in the family tent.
Summers were spent behind the push lawn mower and I didn't even know that mowers came with motors until I was 13 and we got one without an automatic blade-stop or an auto-drive. How sick were my parents? Of course my parents weren't the only psychos. I recall Donny Reynolds from next door coming over and doing his tricks on the front stoop just before he fell off. Little did his Mom know that she could have owned our house. Instead she picked him up and swatted him for being such a goof. It was a neighborhood run amuck.
To top it off, not a single person I knew had ever been told that they were from a dysfunctional family. How could we possibly have known that? We needed to get into group therapy and anger management classes!
We were obviously so duped by so many societal ills, that we didn't even notice that the entire country wasn't taking Prozac! How did we ever survive?


Deer Season

A man and his friend were enjoying Deer season in rural Arkansas near a blacktop highway. A huge buck walked by and the hunter carefully drew his bow and took careful aim. Before he could release his arrow, his friend pointed at a funeral procession passing on the road below their stand. The hunter slowly let off the pressure on his bow, took off his hat, bowed his head and closed his eyes in prayer. His friend was amazed. "Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You are the kindest man I have ever known." The hunter shrugged. "Yeah, well, we were married for 35 years."




TAKE A LOOK AT YOURSELF...

It doesn't hurt to take a hard look at yourself from time to time, and this should help get you started.
During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.
"Well," said the director, "We fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teac up and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."

"No." said the director, "A normal person would pull the plug."
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Do you want a room with or without a view?


Deer Hunter ....

Somewhere near Rochester, New York, Ed set out to bag his buck at 5:30 a.m. By 11:30 a.m., he was exhausted and hungry--and still no buck. At 12 noon, the mighty hunter Ed guards the remains of his lunch while a passerby snaps a quiet photo while trying not to startle the deer with a belly laugh . .




TAKE A LOOK AT YOURSELF!

It doesn't hurt to take a hard look at yourself from time to time, and this should help get you started.

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized. "Well," said the director, "We fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."

"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."

"No." said the director, "A normal person would pull the plug."....
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Do you want a room with or without a view?


WATCH THE LITTLE ELF BELOW--IT'S CUTE!!!...) but don't forget to scroll down...!!! Actually, watch him for a few seconds before scrolling down.



Hello There Nice Person
Did Anyone Ever Tell You,
Just How Special You Are
The Light that You Emit
Might even Light a Star



Did Anyone Ever Tell You
How Important You Make Others Feel
Somebody out here is Smiling
About Love that is so Real



Did Anyone Ever Tell You that
Many Times When They were Sad
Your E-mail made Them Smile a bit
In Fact It made Them Glad



For the Time You Spend Sending Things
And Sharing whatever You Find
There are No Words to Thank You
But Somebody, Thinks You're Fine

Did Anyone Ever Tell You



Just How Much They Like You
Well, My Friend
Today I am Telling You

I HOPE I GET THIS BACK
I believe that without a friend you are missing out on a lot!!!



Don't be confused by friends and acquaintances, there is a difference!

It's national care week and Because I care about you,
you get to send messages to all your friends
telling them that you care about them
and make them feel good about themselves
and if they write back (just once)
then that means that they care about you too.

BUT, you have to send it right now!!

Send it to everyone you care about and if they send it back that means they care too..

But don't just send it back, send it on to everyone..

Have a nice day, and I'm glad we are
friends!!!

THIS IS A HAND OF FRIENDSHIP

YOU MUST PASS IT TO AT LEAST 4 FRIENDS!!




Oldies from the Master....

RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE

1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship... She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.
2. We also sleep in separate beds... Hers is in California and mine is in Texas.
3. I take my wife everywhere.....but she keeps finding her way back.
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time" she said... So I suggested the kitchen.
5. We always hold hands... If I let go, she shops.
6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!" - So I bought her an electric chair.
7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was, she told me "In the lake."
8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days... Then the mud fell off.
9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling "Am I too late for the garbage?" .... The driver said "No, jump in!"
10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.
13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked "What's on the TV?" I said "Dust!"

Can't you just hear him say all of these..? I love it......... the good old days when humor didn't have to start with a four letter word........ just clean and simple fun..!





"REMEMBER"



"Oklahoma City" ~~ 04-19-95 ... "New York" ~~ 09-11-2001 ... "The Hurricanes" ... "The Forest Fires" ... "The Earthquakes" ... But also REMEMBER those that cared enough to help ... "Firefighters" ... "Police" ... "Redcross" ... "Salvation Army" ... and "The Average Joe's" who gave their time, money, and other donations to those in distress.












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